Understanding that your parents and your in-laws are going to want to be part of the happy couples life is vital in keeping harmony. It might not be easy to make sure that both sets of parents get the same amount of time and attention but if one set seems to be finding fault and looking for ways to criticise then you need to act quickly to stop it going too far.
If it is your parents you can probably have a quiet word, but what do you do when it is the in-laws? There are many things they can do that will be an issue for you but not their child so you have to make sure that your spouse is fully aware of how you feel and also fully aware of how to help you . Here are a few tips if you feel that your in-laws are getting too involved with your marriage.
Don’t try and cope with an incident alone. If something happens then tell your spouse as once the in-laws realise that you keep things from their child they can use it against you. Make sure that your spouse knows that you will not accept them taking matters into their own hands, and if something does happen when you are not there then you at least need to know about it. Be fair to them and always let them know that you are aware of the suggestions they have made and even that you are grateful for them making that suggestion. You don’t have to do what they suggest but they will at least know that you have listened to them.
Never give them the opportunity to say that you are being irrational or unfair to them. If there is a reason why you cannot do something that you said you would make sure they know there is a good reason for it and if it is simply something as basic as your spouse not wanting to don’t allow them to make you the bad guy. Often the in-laws will not be as bad as you feared but you need to make sure they know that they cannot get too involved in your relationship.